OK – first of all, before you start to read this, please know that we LOVE Nelly Furtado.  When ‘Whoa Nelly’ came out, we bought it on it’s day of release because we knew it was going to be brilliant.  When ‘Folklore’ was released, we listened to it for months and cried whenever we heard ‘Try’.  When we first heard ‘Maneater’ we thought, ‘Well, hey – the girl is brilliant and if she really has to work with Timbaland to get the cross-over success she deserves, then that’s ok with us."

However, in seeing Nelly Furtado’s ‘Let Loose’ tour last night at Hammersmith Apollo, we were well, let’s say this nicely, not too happy.  We don’t want to spend too much time on a so-so review, so we’ve decided to do this review in the form of a random rant and rave for you.

  1. Nelly Furtado does not wear dresses.  For most of the evening she wore these designer dresses that just didn’t suit her.  We love the ‘Maneater’ video look – she’s comfortable in that getup.  Nelly Furtado in jeans and a t-shirt…that is who she truly is and we believe that she’s probably far more comfortable in these types of clothes.
  2. However, lesbians loves seeing Nelly Furtado in a dress.  We wonder why.  We couldn’t help but notice the hundreds of lesbians at the show who kept commenting on how good her ass looked!  Hey that’s cool – her ass does look good.
  3. Nelly Furtado isn’t a Dreamgirl.  There was one section of the show where she did some of her songs in a jazzy style of music that just didn’t work for us.  If there would have been a bubble machine, we would have walked out.
  4. Brilliant set-list…however she ruined some of her own songs…like a hip-hoppy version of ‘I’m Like A Bird’ where she screams ‘REMIX’ over and over at the beginning?  No. No. No.  I know Nelly doesn’t "like to do the same thing twice" but that rendition of the song could have been so much better.  We forgive her though because when she sang ‘Try’ she broke it down with a beautiful piano-only version of the song, which is our favourite.
  5. Do we really need an interlude/costume change where her backup singer and dancer’s perform ‘Sexyback’.  No. No. No.
  6. The most brilliant song off of ‘Loose’ is ‘Afraid’ – however it was only an instrumental bit of the show’s opening montage.  We wanted more.
  7. Nelly Furtado sings her version of Gnarls Barkley’s ‘Crazy’ – ok fine, the crowd liked it and we prefer Nelly’s version any day over the Gnarls Barkley original.
  8. ‘No Hay Igual’ was fucking brilliant – we loved the energy she brought to this song – a song that we don’t pay too much attention to when we listen to ‘Loose’
  9. Who made Nelly Furtado wear glittery high heels during her last section of the show?  We laughed when Nelly clearly got frustrated with them and ripped them off so that she can jump around like a monkey onstage – that is what we love about a Nelly Furtado show!  We’ve seen every tour she’s done!  She loves to jump around like a monkey on-stage!  We love it!
  10. Ok – it wasn’t the worst night out ever, we’re just clearly overprotective of our Nelly.  We hope that she continues to enjoy the success she’s receiving now, but to us, these years will forever be ingrained in our minds as the ‘sell-out era’ for Nelly Furtado.  We hope she will go back to what she does best – which is world-influenced music with a pop edge…she don’t need no glittery dresses, a hip-hop flavour or a huge posse to make her look good as a performer – she already is. 

We still love you Nelly Furtado – we always will be forever your fan and spend loads of money on your shows…we promise.