Ok EQs – this is probably the one and only time I will EVER write about The Spice Girls, so pay attention. LOL. Last night, Gerilicious and I went to the O2 arena in London to see The Spice Girls play to 23,000 people. I wasn’t expecting anything – I kinda was just curious really as I never have been a fan of The Spice Girls at all (I think I may have slagged them off when I heard about the reunion…most likely) but when I moved to London they were all launching into their solo careers and I kinda had a tiny amount of appreciation for Geri Halliwell and Emma Bunton’s solo work. So to tell the story about "my Spice experience", you get to read about it in lovely Random Rant format below. Enjoy.
- This was THE WORST ticketing drama I have ever had in my whole life. I was issued a "hand written" ticket for two people upon presentation of my credit card in which the bitch at the box office told me the ticket was for two people! WTF. Naturally I got stopped at the gate and they made Geri and I stand aside outside the gate like two criminals for over 40 minutes only to be told that there was nothing wrong with our "ticket". I kicked up a fuss naturally. Get it together O2.
- After the whole drama – we actually had flawless seats next to the stage. Normally at every show a basketball player of enormous height sits in front of me, but this time a row of 3 foot 5 seven-year-old girls dressed like The Pussycat Dolls danced and shaked their money-makers in front of us the whole night. They even were practicing their Beyonce-like booby and butt shakes and I couldn’t help but laugh – they had nothing to shake! Aside from witnessing that monstrosity which was of course supported by the Footballers Wife wannabee mother, I was so happy – I had a perfect view the whole show! And it looked like those little girls had fun even if I thought they were way too young to be displaying THAT level of sexuality.
- We sat near Nikki from Big Brother who surprisingly kept her mouth shut the entire time. Maybe she didn’t want to end up in the pages of EQ. LOL.
- We also sat near that cute bisexual guy from Shipwrecked with the big fro – he provided a ton of entertainment as well.
- Geri Halliwell was fucking amazing looking. However all the chatter I heard from women consisted of "…that Geri Halliwell looks like an emaciated waif – she needs to eat some Wispas!" And then they went on and on about how amazing Victoria Beckham looked…speaking of emaciated waifs…I am NOT a fan.
- Every time Melanie B looked over at our section, Geri and I laughed because it was about a year ago that she was flirting heavily with our little Gerilicious at The Cobden Club in West London all the while pregnant with Eddie Murphy’s lovechild. A lot of the chatter about Mel B consisted of "Wow she has the biggest set of buzzas I’ve ever seen". It’s true. But she looked great if you ask me.
- Emma Bunton was as cute as button as you would expect and she did a fabulous version of ‘Maybe’. She’s so cute you just want to rough her up a bit. I’m just green with envy, I wish I had her hair.
- Victoria Beckham didn’t get to sing a solo song – I wonder why? She did however get to strut like a minx down the catwalk to a soundtrack of Madonna’s ‘Material Girl’ mashed up with RuPaul’s ‘Supermodel’. How very fitting. Bitch got thunderous applause too whenever she was given the rare moment to sing a line. Why is the UK obsessed with her? I don’t get it.
- LOTS of cover songs. ‘We Are Family’, ‘Celebration’, ‘Thats The Way I Like It, Uh-huh, uh huh’.
- But the overall winner for me of the night was Mel C. Watching her sing ‘I Turn To You’ was amazing. She stole the show. Geri Halliwell’s version of ‘It’s Raining Men’ was fucking fun too.
All in all – it wasn’t a bad night out. The venue itself is pretty spectacular and that is the real reason I wanted to go. Comfy seats and totally air-conditioned to perfection. If the O2 sorts out some of their ticketing issues I will probably go and see more shows there as it’s just a stones throw away from the loft. I think The Spice Girls as a whole aren’t that bad either. They are way more powerful together than solo and after this experience, I wouldn’t exactly call myself a fan, but I’ll probably stop slagging them off in the future.
If you are at all keen to see the ladies then I would recommend it. It’s a fun and very camp night out.